Children Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Kids are disorganized.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With…

— P. J. O'Rourke

It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy.

— P. J. O'Rourke

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

— P. J. O'Rourke

For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression…

— P. J. O'Rourke

If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have…

— P. J. O'Rourke

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less…

— P. J. O'Rourke

[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The real truth about children is they don't speak the language very well. They're physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our…

— P. J. O'Rourke

My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their…

— P. J. O'Rourke

That is the really great thing about being an adult male, once you get married and have children the whole decision-making process…

— P. J. O'Rourke

[Friedrich] Hayek is not protesting that things like child labor and stuff are good. He's just trying to show that when government…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship,…

— P. J. O'Rourke