Vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Detroit is beautiful - though you probably have to be a child of the industrial Midwest, like me, to see it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It remains to be seen which program will cause greater societal damage: China's one-child policy or America's one-parent policy. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real truth about children is they don't speak the language very well. They're physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My Grandmother wouldn't even speak the word Democrat if there were children in the room, she'd say Bastards instead. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Friedrich] Hayek is not protesting that things like child labor and stuff are good. He's just trying to show that when government… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
That is the really great thing about being an adult male, once you get married and have children the whole decision-making process… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/6d2/p-j-o-rourke-184_abuse_t-he-clinton-administration-launched-an_664366.jpg)
![“[Friedrich] Hayek is not protesting that things like child labor and stuff are good. He's just trying to show that when government undertakes to make everything good for everybody, this is what happens. And he addresses it to socialists of all parties.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/eb8/p-j-o-rourke-184_addresses_friedrich-hayek-is-not-protesting-that-t_2267567.jpg)
