Knows Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic.

— P. J. O'Rourke

The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point.

— P. J. O'Rourke

I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked "What's the big idea?" knows, most big ideas…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke

— P. J. O'Rourke

I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?

— P. J. O'Rourke

Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.

— P. J. O'Rourke

If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Any person who has spent time outdoors actually doing something, such as hunting and fishing as opposed to standing there with a…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The main reason to be opposed to political control of smoking is to keep power -even the smallest and silliest kind of…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Good manners can replace morals. It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what…

— P. J. O'Rourke

[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book.…

— P. J. O'Rourke

[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler,…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice.…

— P. J. O'Rourke

You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. ... Government contains impure ingredients - as anybody who's looked…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket…

— P. J. O'Rourke

If I do, I say so. That's the only way out of that. If there are three words that need to be…

— P. J. O'Rourke

Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for…

— P. J. O'Rourke

This going on and on about how terrible a carbon-based economy is, these people are full of crap. They don't know what…

— P. J. O'Rourke

You can't get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about…

— P. J. O'Rourke

People love to be told what they know already. It's not so much that what they say is wrong, though Ann Coulter…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Bachelors know all about parties. In fact, a good bachelor is a living, breathing party all by himself. At least that is…

— P. J. O'Rourke

It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s.…

— P. J. O'Rourke

There was also a hunger strike in front of the National Press Club, which seemed an odd place to have a hunger…

— P. J. O'Rourke

The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can…

— P. J. O'Rourke

America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking…

— P. J. O'Rourke

A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six…

— P. J. O'Rourke

You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more…

— P. J. O'Rourke