Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know better than to listen to journalists. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Those who do not know history are probably also not doing well in English or math. P.J. O'Rourke — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Western Australia they don't even know how to make that vital piece of sailboating equipment, the gin and tonic. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Good manners consist of doing precisely what everyone thinks should be done, especially when no one knows quite what that is. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You can't get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That's all you need to know about… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Good manners can replace morals. It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have three children and three dogs. You put them in a Prius, you know? People who have a Prius obviously have… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Any person who has spent time outdoors actually doing something, such as hunting and fishing as opposed to standing there with a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The main reason to be opposed to political control of smoking is to keep power -even the smallest and silliest kind of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'd like to end the book a lot of ways. Except I don't have any answers. Use your common sense. Be nice.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. ... Government contains impure ingredients - as anybody who's looked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
This going on and on about how terrible a carbon-based economy is, these people are full of crap. They don't know what… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If I do, I say so. That's the only way out of that. If there are three words that need to be… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked "What's the big idea?" knows, most big ideas… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People love to be told what they know already. It's not so much that what they say is wrong, though Ann Coulter… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is not a wily, sneaky nation. We don't think that way. We don't think much at all, thank God. Start thinking… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There was also a hunger strike in front of the National Press Club, which seemed an odd place to have a hunger… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Bachelors know all about parties. In fact, a good bachelor is a living, breathing party all by himself. At least that is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book. All they do is reassure people of their basic opinions, and then they can continue to act like they've always acted. I'd say it's time to move on to…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1c2/p-j-o-rourke-184_advice_wave-of-bestselling-conservative-comment_55176.jpg)
![“[Kurt] Vonnegut once said, if you ever want to know who somebody is... Like you look at Richard Nixon, or Adolf Hitler, or Ralph Nader, or anybody who seems like a difficult person to understand, and is therefore not part of the pattern of human behavior. Think about who they were in high school…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/900/p-j-o-rourke-184_behavior_kurt-vonnegut-once-said-if-you-ever-want_97504.jpg)
![“Then basically what was happening was that it was the middle '80s, and Rolling Stone realized that a lot of their readers had voted for [Ronald] Reagan, and they were going, "Gosh! We need a Republican! Does anybody know a Republican? Wait a minute! I think P.J.'s a Republican!"” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/fe1/p-j-o-rourke-184_80s_then-basically-what-was-happening-was-th_1600927.jpg)
