The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In thirteen years, every aspect of the universe can change - ask a thirteen-year-old. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I spent almost 25 years as a foreign correspondent, and the world's primary problem is poverty. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm 61 years old. I'm not that fearful of the future, period. I'm not going to see that much of it. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've been a New Yorker for ten years, and the only people who are nice to us turn out to be Moonies. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Whereas Rolling Stone, I just never had anything to do with them. I'd stop by the office maybe twice a year. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Good manners can replace morals. It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Well the planet I've got a chance to visit is Earth, and Earth's principal features are chaos and war. I think I'd… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Network television has been attempting to lure viewers for years with its low-interest programming only to have those viewers discover later that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't see evidence of America being a poorer country than it was 20 years ago. I've seen impoverished devastation. I've seen… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Iran and Iraq have been at war for five years now. The traditional present for a fifth anniversary is wood. Here's a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We're told cars are wasteful. Wasteful of what? Oil did a lot of good sitting in the ground for millions of years.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Once we realized that there were these 25 invariable types - the class politician, the frigid popular girl, the kid who tags… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Political systems must love poverty-they produce so much of it. Poor people make easier targets for a demagogue. No Mao or even… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Seriously. It was running out at Rolling Stone. First of all, they didn't feel the need for a dissident conservative voice in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Mankind has invested more than four million years of evolution in the attempt to avoid physical exertion. Now a group of backward-thinking… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Are you a Democrat because you're a union member? Then why, after eight years of Bill Clinton, does some Chinese guy in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
We're told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Nothing about economic growth in the United States over the course of the past 40, 50 years, during which time this has… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Last year, on a long car trip, I was listening to Rush Limbaugh shout. I usually agree with Rush Limbaugh; therefore I… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to egalitarians, to people obsessed with fairness, to American presidential candidates in the year… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Anyhow, all mankind's ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, 'That's not fair.' When she says that, I say,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In the end we beat them with Levi's 501 jeans. Seventy-two years of communist indoctrination and propaganda was drowned out by a… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
![“Seriously. It was running out at Rolling Stone. First of all, they didn't feel the need for a dissident conservative voice in a world where certain conservative aspects had become intellectually dominant. I would actually argue against that, but on the surface of it, in the [Bill] Clinton years…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cb5/p-j-o-rourke-184_20th-century_seriously-it-was-running-out-at-rolling_1366968.jpg)
