The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is, and… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
You can't go to medical school and come out and be like, 'I'm going to be a dog catcher.' That would be… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
My last name has the word 'big' in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Once you've made your first feature, you know what you can do wrong and how hard it is to shoot a feature.… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I feel like being a door person was like college in a sense. I could watch comedy on a professional level seven… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
If I dream that I'm directing, it's not a film, it's like a commercial for cotton candy, and I've got four feet… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I actually wasn't really the class clown growing up. The class clown was always the mean guy who walked up and was… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I'm eating pizza. Like, I'm so content… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news.… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, 'No, no, you've got… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don't tell anyone.' But not about creepy… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
In terms of comedy, there was a Seinfeldian era of comedy that I love but got played out. Seinfeld was great, but… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Directing a movie is a little bit like being back in student government and putting on the homecoming dance. You're like, 'You… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Media is so weird; everything is so accessible now. It used to be this thing where, if you did something on 'This… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
You don't really see sleepwalking in films that often. It's weird; I feel like in popular culture we have the perception of… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, 'This is boring. I want… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Random people, celebrities of note come to your shows over the years, and I've had some really strange ones. Like the guy… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I just like, when you look at people who have long careers in film, they're able to make films that are far… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I am intimidating no one in America. No one feels like they are below me in any way. They feel like they… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
After I perform 'My Girlfriend's Boyfriend,' it takes a lot out of me emotionally; and, at the end of it, I feel… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Philip Seymour… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero, which… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It's a difficult line to tread, where sometimes you go to the movies or you watch someone do publicity for movies or… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you want people to like you. That's part of why you're there in the first place: You have this… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
There's something about small venues that's amazing for developing material. It's almost like you can not only hear people's response, but you… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It's interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that's actually there and what's happening in your brain. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
