I think the thing I had to be careful about while writing a book was not to say anything that was revealing… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Sometimes when my fans come up to me, they think it's going to be entertaining, like I'm going to tell jokes or… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I have this habit of asking 'why do you want to do it?' and then interrupting them to say, 'here's why you… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
When you're in a relationship with someone who's selfish, what keeps you in it is the fact that when they shine on… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
In our culture right now, I want to take on this notion of what a singular success means. We think success is… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, 'Why… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you want people to like you. That's part of why you're there in the first place: You have this… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I think the reason why I'm so alluring to networks is because on the surface I'm like a quintessential relatable, boring white… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
In my twenties, I thought it was getting a sitcom. Then I got a sitcom pilot in my early thirties, and realized… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No...… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, 'This is boring. I want… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Growing up, I was discouraged from telling personal stories. My dad often used the phrase 'Don't tell anyone.' But not about creepy… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
My writing process is very feedback-based. When I do stand-up, I listen to the audience. I try to understand what's connecting, what's not connecting,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I've actually always wanted to write like a one-person show that was sort of a romantic comedy - a show that was kind of… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
It's interesting how sleepwalking in a certain way becomes an accumulation of your outside stimuli that's actually there and what's happening in your brain. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I went to the doctor, and they found something in my bladder. And whenever they find something, it's never anything good like, "We found… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I think because I've been working in front of audiences for so many years, I'm able to take in the input, good or bad,… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Directing your first film is like showing up to the field trip in seventh grade, getting on the bus, and making an announcement, 'So… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
