One nice thing about the Third World, you don't have to fasten your seat belt. (Or stop smoking. Or cut down on… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
America is the world's policeman, all right -- a big, dumb, mick flatfoot in the middle of the one thing cops dread… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner." — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The idea of a world where all people are alike - in wealth or in anything else - is a fantasy for… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Greenpeace booth at all the rock and roll shows nowadays are akin to the old sorcerers who used to stand in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember, FDA employees are serious about fear. We pay these people to panic about an iota of rodent hair in our chili,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A world government run by the UN will be like getting an old, purblind, half-deaf substitute teacher. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Women are successful in the business world because the business world was created by men. Men are babies. And women areGood With… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Money is preferable to politics. It is the difference between being free to be anybody you want and to vote for anybody… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Seriously. It was running out at Rolling Stone. First of all, they didn't feel the need for a dissident conservative voice in… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be? — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Now for good or ill, California is the place where trends tend to be set in Western civilization - if civilization indeed… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Wealth is, for most people, the only honest and likely path to liberty. With money comes power over the world. Men are… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you spend 72 hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric:… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
My whole family can talk. They are all car salesmen. They are all funny. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
