I may even show up behind the camera. I love to put things together; I love to give direction. I have a… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open...… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I try to dress smooth, I try to keep my face shaved, I try to keep my head cut. I try to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
When you speak directly at things and don't say you're going to try to do something or that you hope to do… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
People love things about Hollywood. People love to see the inside of what's going on. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I love to pitch things that I believe in and products that I love to use. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
