Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
That's what I am; I'm a drip. You still get hydrated, you still get your nutrients, just a little at a damn… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I most resemble Benjamin Button. I evolve. I attach myself to the heartbeat of whatever is going on at that particular time,… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
