You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“Having a dick is one of the most dangerous things on the planet. How many people are eaten by sharks each year?… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You start in bars and then restaurants, then you want to get into comedy clubs where you feature, then you headline, and… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think some people really change when they become a dad. Like, I've changed in different ways. I - but, like, my… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Women are constantly patting themselves on the back on how difficult their lives are and no one corrects em, cuz they wanna… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
