It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
When I'm up there, I'm just thinking that I've got to make them laugh or they won't show up next time. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I'm thinking of all… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I don't feel like it's a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think I just say what I'm thinking. And - you know, if people relate to it, they relate to it, but… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There's a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
So many people there are in politics that they're overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They're so damned concerned about what everyone… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was painfully shy when I was younger but at some point you've gotta grow up. I think the genius in the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
