Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
My career has been a slow burn, so waiting to do the Edinburgh Festival was a smart move. If I'd spent a… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I mean, stand up you're by yourself and it's live and when you're acting, unless you're doing a monologue, you're interacting with… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you're on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don't get any Tweets you know it's bombed. I… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don't get, I just make fun of myself for assuming… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you're away from your house for a month, by the time you come back there's someone else living in it. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There's a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
When you say, "there's no reason [to hit a woman]" that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned how to combat depression. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
![“Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we'd never live it down.” quote by Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/efd/bill-burr-1900_amount_think-about-the-amount-of-crap-the-us-ha_1122838.jpg)
![“When you say, "there's no reason [to hit a woman]" that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, "there's no reason," you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?” quote by Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/f3d/bill-burr-1900_cutting_when-you-say-there-s-no-reason-to-hit-a_3111912.jpg)
