I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I like finding stuff that I suck at and trying to get better. So I'm taking classes, getting myself comfortable in an… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
We need a plague. It's gotta happen. And don't worry, it's only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I don't think that hard about why people come out to my shows or trying to influence them or anything. I'm just… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Did you ever spell a word so bad that your spell check has absolutely no clue what you're trying to spell? What… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
