I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I've been bumped, I've had to go up after them, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been booed. I've had people… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I don't feel like it's a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There's no "brothers" when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think I just say what I'm thinking. And - you know, if people relate to it, they relate to it, but… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
So many people there are in politics that they're overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They're so damned concerned about what everyone… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I'm thinking of all… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There's a big thing right now with people using stand-up as a scapegoat. People think comedians have the power to change someone… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
And Donald Trump? That man literally has people shouting the n word at his rallies and he doesn't address it, which is… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
That's kind of my job in the writer's room. I'm always the guy going, like, 'People wouldn't say that there. They wouldn't… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Rednecks are like America's pit bulls. They should just sedate those people, drop 'em off in Afghanistan, just let them run wild.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Rich people never go to war. You ask a college kid to go to war, and he's like, 'Umm, I'm taking this… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think the fear of humiliating yourself on stage always motivates me to give at least 90 percent. I've definitely been guilty… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think some people really change when they become a dad. Like, I've changed in different ways. I - but, like, my… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You probably need 1/10 of the world's population for us to continue to exist. There's just too many damn people. You have… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I've been guilty of being in the writers' room and going too dark; other people have gone too wacky and zany. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I don't think that hard about why people come out to my shows or trying to influence them or anything. I'm just… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a blue-collar city [Manchester] that's transitioning into a white collar place and people are getting priced out. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People focus too much on whether there's a Democrat or a Republican in office. It's not like this guy Kim-Jong Un got… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I liked Jimmy Snuka, Tony Garea, Larry Zbyszko, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino, Chief Strongbow, SD Jones (even though they never let him… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image