I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don't get, I just make fun of myself for assuming… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you're on social media as a performer you can tell. If you don't get any Tweets you know it's bombed. I… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm one of those guys where you know, I'm 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You're not chasing syndication any more. It used to be a big thing. "Let's make 100 episodes and we'll get paid for… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
