It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm one of those guys like whatever the situation is, as long as people are cool and everybody is trying to be… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
When I'm up there, I'm just thinking that I've got to make them laugh or they won't show up next time. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I don't like it is when I'm… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich? — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I don't mind it. I just space it out. Every other week I go out. I used to get some time to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
“When was the last time your dick came up with a good plan? Oh, it's got some great ideas, but when was… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes "no you… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
If you're away from your house for a month, by the time you come back there's someone else living in it. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny. — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
