Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 11

Me: I think I could make you very happy She: Why? Are you leaving?

— Nikhil Saluja

I am so smart, I am so smart, S M R T, I mean S M A R T.

— Nikhil Saluja

If voting could really change things, It would be illegal.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion.

— Nikhil Saluja

13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, Pussies.

— Nikhil Saluja

Give a compliment to a fat chick today, she'll literally remember you until the day she dies... Because elephants never forget.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationship Status: Apologizing everytime for saying something hilarious.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed

— Nikhil Saluja

Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down…

— Nikhil Saluja

A guy tells you he loves you. The man shows you he does.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

— Nikhil Saluja

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

— Nikhil Saluja

I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

— Nikhil Saluja

Sexy singles near you, but they are not interested.

— Nikhil Saluja

In time you'll look back and realize some relationships weren't meant to be. Once you accept your new life, and freedom things…

— Nikhil Saluja

Justin Beiber? Uh No! Never heard of her.

— Nikhil Saluja

I was walking around with my GF when she started playing a Bieber song on cell & now there's vomit all over…

— Nikhil Saluja

The thing I admire most in my girlfriend is her brains and the way that each of them has an attractive nipple…

— Nikhil Saluja

Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

— Nikhil Saluja

Midnight snack? You mean vagina.

— Nikhil Saluja

What the fuck do you want from me? is the new hello.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm bored. Maybe I should leave the house and check twitter from somewhere else.

— Nikhil Saluja

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't always tweet when I'm drunk, but when I do, it's when I'm visiting my family.

— Nikhil Saluja