Funny facebook status Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 10

I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change…

— Nikhil Saluja

Hello? Hello, uh ... do you sell ladders? Sorry, you have the rung number.

— Nikhil Saluja

I would never mind being in an odd abusive relationship, if my girlfriend would punch me with her tits.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who has to grow old alone;

— Nikhil Saluja

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, You're going to have trouble with it.

— Nikhil Saluja

If beer pong was one of the event in the Olympics, I would get gold for sure.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:I LIKE YOU, BUT. Woman means:I don't like you.

— Nikhil Saluja

Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!

— Nikhil Saluja

I asked a lady on the street for directions. I know women have no sense of direction, I just wanted to look…

— Nikhil Saluja

When money grows on trees, you can bet there's a lot of grafting going on.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just met a girl named Karma. She was actually really sweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

In their last moments, people show you who they really are

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?

— Nikhil Saluja

A truck full of dildos is just Toys for Twats.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back?

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? Woman means:We haven't had a fight in a while.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life…

— Nikhil Saluja

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

— Nikhil Saluja

Tears: The hydrolic force that women use to defeat men.

— Nikhil Saluja

Apparently you aren't allowed to have problems if you aren't a starving african child or a delhi rape victim.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a…

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern .

— Nikhil Saluja

I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her.

— Nikhil Saluja