I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My best tweets are when someone take them personnel & instantly unfollow me. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a girl says have fun She means have a horrible time without me. Not true... Maybe! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know, you can really get wet playing games in that new Pentium-VI dishwasher. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, If your man is telling, you are so cute & funny, Tell him you are on periods & see the PMS… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To Do List : 1: Buy 4 Pigs 2: Paint numbers 1,2,3 & 5 on their backs 3: Release them in Wal-Mart 4: Sit back watch Security search for 4 — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean you are inferior¦¦ it does mean you are not perfect! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
