When I realised I had a facility for humour, I latched on to it, and it gave me confidence and I built… — Catherine Tate Copy Share Image
“Riley tried not to hyperventilate or think too closely about the Alien movies and their take on extraterrestrial encounters. When he was… — J. Fally Copy Share Image
There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
Tiger is a funny guy. I want to beat him as badly as anybody else but I respect him. He has been… — Paul Casey Copy Share Image
“Do you ride?" She smiled, her fingers lightly sliding around his ear. "Not since I hit that barn" Zach’s hands paused on… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
“You are the night." "I am the night," I repeated. "You are the night." I cocked my head, sending him a questioning… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
My personal trainer told me to listen to my body while working out so I left the gym & went to get… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between masturbating while you look out a window, and masturbating while you're looking in a window. I'll give… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
It's so funny how social media was just this fun thing, and now it's this monster that consumes so many millennial lives. — Cazzie David Copy Share Image
And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when… — Drew Brees Copy Share Image
It's funny how we can remember the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they… — Catherine Gilbert Murdock Copy Share Image
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
If you think down, you will go down. If you think up, you will go up. You’ll always travel in the direction… — T. D. Jakes Copy Share Image
I always felt like the best comedy came out of sadness, and some of my favourite shows growing up - a lot… — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny: one of the strongest parts of my game today is heading, and that only really developed when I started playing… — Vincent Kompany Copy Share Image
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I am convinced that each of us, at some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover… — Spencer W. Kimball Copy Share Image
Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member… — Richard Brinsley Sheridan Copy Share Image
I think the idea we had with Bridgerton' was very much in the early conversations, to do something fresh and exciting and… — Rege-Jean Page Copy Share Image
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you… — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“Something in me didnt believe that. I read it again, trying to make sense of the old-fashioned language. Mason watched me curiously,… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
I think the amazing thing about 'Twin Peaks' was that it completely changed television from that point forward. It showed everyone that… — Madchen Amick Copy Share Image
“cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin’ in your house, I’d kiss you in front of… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“I don't know,' he said irritably. 'Is it meant to improve you?' She swiveled toward him, eyes wide with shock. 'Because nothing… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
“That's why I always keep a handful of silver glitter in my pockets. If I get pushed into a conversational corner I… — Jonathan Acuff Copy Share Image
“Just leave me alone, I want to be alone,” she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them… — Ron White Copy Share Image
No volleyball play can begin without a serve, and the serve is the only technique that is totally under your control. In… — Karch Kiraly Copy Share Image
Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time… — Marilyn Sokol Copy Share Image
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
