Bags Quote by Frank Carson

“Why thanks", Santa said. "you're awfully kind... (Though they are a bit snug ... on my ample behind." "Don't worry," I told him, "you'll…

— Jim Harris

“You don't seem to understand," I whispered. "It's Christmas relationships that are worrying Carol and me so! It worries us dreadfully! Oh, of course…

— Eleanor Hallowell Abbott

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a…

— Frank Carson

“I brought you something,” I said as I ignored the twitch of embarrassment that I hadn’t thought to buy actual wrapping paper for the…

— Sloane Kennedy

“I liked Christmas and this was Christmassy enough for us. Ellie and Adam’s flat looked like Santa had dropped around for a party, had…

— Samantha Young

“I'll give you your Christmas present now if you'll give me mine." I shook my head. "At breakfast." "But it's Christmas now." "Breakfast." "Whatever…

— Dashiell Hammett

“Missing a nose. With these children Santa has to be careful not to ask, "And what would you like for Christmas?”

— David Sedaris

A starving poor child once asked his mother, 'What's Christmas, mom?' The mother replied: 'That's a good question, but I really don't know because…

— Jean-Paul Malfatti

“Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.”

— Janet Evanovich

Oh, when I was a kid, I was poor. Christmas, I got no presents. Well, there was one Christmas, on our front lawn -…

— Rodney Dangerfield

“Say who with the what now? Well, Merry Christmas and Ho Ho Holy Crap. Just what the hell have I been yammering on about?”

— Qwen Salsbury

One time I asked Brasky to dress up as Santa for a Christmas party I was having for my children. Anyway, Brasky shows up…

— Bill Brasky