An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror." — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My wife said to me: 'If you won the lottery, would you still love me?' I said: 'Of course I would. I'd… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours."… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror." — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
