Asks Quote by Frank Carson

I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours."…

— Frank Carson

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

— Frank Carson

I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

— Frank Carson

The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?

— Frank Carson

The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

— Frank Carson

A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three…

— Frank Carson

I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase…

— Frank Carson

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

— Frank Carson

A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can…

— Frank Carson

My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

— Frank Carson

I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

— Frank Carson

My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the…

— Frank Carson