I was very moved by shows that combined things that were funny and sad. I remember liking 'Simpsons' episodes in which emotions… — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
The old - like children - talk to themselves, for they have reached that hopeless wisdom of experience which knows that though… — Eugene O'Neill Copy Share Image
You study to remember If you remember too much you forget If you forget you dont know what you studied If you… — Bubbly Copy Share Image
“Dylan, while he is in the shower and he and Joss are only seperated by the curtain and his invisibility: Dylan: "Maybe… — Susan Bischoff Copy Share Image
I met Amy Winehouse a few times and she was always funny, charming and self-deprecating - just a delight to be around. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
“These boys need women who can take the heat without meltin’ like butter, and sometimes that heat is fiery. They need women… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
People often think that you have a sense of humor because you think that life is funny. Life isn't funny at all.… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
People say everything happens for a reason... well when I punch you in the face remember that happened for a reason! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I've been in the industry for 15 years, and I knew all the pieces that needed to be included to make a… — Butch Hartman Copy Share Image
Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I can't give them anything.… — Jordin Sparks Copy Share Image
“First of all, I was running scams when you were at keggers at Kappa Kappa Werewolf. You don’t know much about me… — Lauren Dane Copy Share Image
There is a whole genre of funny travel writers - that's very popular. There's Bill Bryson and people who follow that route… — John Gimlette Copy Share Image
Anything that gets you to release the stress in your life and really laugh is worthwhile. It can heal the planet. It… — Lucie Arnaz Copy Share Image
There was one rumor that I saw in a magazine saying I was pregnant. I thought that was brilliant and it still… — Robert Pattinson Copy Share Image
When I walked in on 'Drag Race' and saw Katya, I had no idea she was gonna be funny, because she was… — Trixie Mattel Copy Share Image
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Within less than an hour, Chuck and I easily located what could well be the correct platform, where we pass the time… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My father Rodger is your typical 'funny without knowing it' kinda guy. When he says something that creates shock or joy in… — Iain Stirling Copy Share Image
They can't expect anyone to actually pay for a shirt that says, 'I (picture of an elephant) the San Diego Zoo.' What… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
Pete Davidson - he's in the movie 'Trainwreck.' He has a small part in it. I told Lorne Michaels about him, said… — Bill Hader Copy Share Image
“Emma has been meaning to read more ever since she was twelve years old. I have seen a great many lists of… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
We have funny ideas about how people in mental institutions act. We think of drooling and people going booga-booga and climbing the… — Milos Forman Copy Share Image
“In the dark, Dave reached for Roger's hand as they watched the shadowed lovemaking. "Were we ever that beautiful?" "You still are,"… — S.E. Jakes Copy Share Image
Dog owners are out in all kinds of weather. They tell you it's small payment for the love their dogs bear them.… — Selma Diamond Copy Share Image
I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Of course, he said, he who is of a certain nature, is like those who are of a certain nature; he who… — Plato Copy Share Image
I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I… — Ross Mathews Copy Share Image
If I were a cat, I'd make love with a door mat; if I were a frog, I'd make love with a… — Jean-Paul Malfatti Copy Share Image
Next Time someone rings your home phone, test their intelligence by replying with 'Hi, can I call you back I'm driving' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, more self confident, and a better dancer. I saw the video from last… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe… — Robert Heinlein Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're taking off your jeans in the changing room, and your underwear decides to come off too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I LOVE EVERYONE...SOME I LOVE TO BE AROUND, SOME I LOVE TO AVOID...AND SOME I WOULD LOVE TO PUNCH ON THEIR FACE...!!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn't have that, then she’s… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“He runs his eye along the row of knives in their racks, the cleavers for splitting bones. He picks one up, looks… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
