“It is so easy to let life go by us in its swift amusing course, that sometimes it hardly seems worthwhile to… — Christopher Morley Copy Share Image
“I don't know,' he said irritably. 'Is it meant to improve you?' She swiveled toward him, eyes wide with shock. 'Because nothing… — Julie Anne Long Copy Share Image
Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time… — Marilyn Sokol Copy Share Image
No volleyball play can begin without a serve, and the serve is the only technique that is totally under your control. In… — Karch Kiraly Copy Share Image
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them… — Ron White Copy Share Image
“Just leave me alone, I want to be alone,” she said when Jack tried to open the car door. She hit the… — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
“That's why I always keep a handful of silver glitter in my pockets. If I get pushed into a conversational corner I… — Jonathan Acuff Copy Share Image
There's a guy in the audience with a distinctive laugh. I hope that guy is miked. The only problem with having a… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Bronco is the most awsome guy ever, hes just full of awsomness, there will not be a person in this world that… — Ana Copy Share Image
“Bildon killed Tad. Look, there’s his dagger hidden in the pot of semolina. There’s the proof,” he screamed. “It’s in the pudding.”… — Ken Magee Copy Share Image
Man who keep feet firmly on ground, have trouble putting on pants. Woman who slides down banister, makes monkey shine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, In Japanese is called Judo -- the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of Yes, dear; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“This is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything.… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
Facebook Timeline is an excellent graphical and visual representation to show how you wasted all your precious time in the past... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Four times during the first six days they were assembled and briefed and then sent back. Once, they took off and were… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I always felt like the best comedy came out of sadness, and some of my favourite shows growing up - a lot… — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
It's funny: one of the strongest parts of my game today is heading, and that only really developed when I started playing… — Vincent Kompany Copy Share Image
LOVE, A temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the patient from the influences under which he or she incurred… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you… — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
I am convinced that each of us, at some time in our lives, must discover the scriptures for ourselves—and not just discover… — Spencer W. Kimball Copy Share Image
I think the idea we had with Bridgerton' was very much in the early conversations, to do something fresh and exciting and… — Rege-Jean Page Copy Share Image
Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member… — Richard Brinsley Sheridan Copy Share Image
“cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin’ in your house, I’d kiss you in front of… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
I think the amazing thing about 'Twin Peaks' was that it completely changed television from that point forward. It showed everyone that… — Madchen Amick Copy Share Image
“Something in me didnt believe that. I read it again, trying to make sense of the old-fashioned language. Mason watched me curiously,… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I'm 50. I'll try anything. Except… — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
The odd thing is how, I think, the intensity and devotion to my craft and the intensity of certain performances or types… — Adrien Brody Copy Share Image
Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
A manufacturer is not through with his customer when a sale is completed. He has then only started with his customer. — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
The original outline for 'Mississippi Grind' was actually an attempt to go funny. But when we showed it to people we realized… — Ryan Fleck Copy Share Image
“Anxiety felt like a grapnel anchor had been pickaxed into your back, one prong in each lung, one through the heart, one… — Krystal Sutherland Copy Share Image
Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our… — James Spader Copy Share Image
Isn't it strange that a group of very intelligent individuals combined into a political party become collectively stupid? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. I didn't realize it was… — Gracie Hart Copy Share Image
Anyone that ever accomplished anything, did not know how they were going to do it. They only knew they were going to… — Bob Proctor Copy Share Image
You ever had sex while listening to drake? I ended up putting her clothes back on and helped her get back with… — Steph Copy Share Image
