If you have someone on the set for the hair, why would you not have someone for the words? — Louis Malle Copy Share Image
Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe Copy Share Image
I know what I'm thinking bout, I think. Nothing. And as much of it as I can. — Alice Walker Copy Share Image
Unless your girlfriend is Rihanna, she's not gonna love the way you lie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“In America, the least amusing people are its professional entertainers.” — Neil Postman Copy Share Image
Pro Publica distorts the relationship between organizations and their consultants, — Scott Raab Copy Share Image
I have two sisters, a brother and lots of aunts. These are funny, opinionated, not-very-quiet women with big personalities - and that… — Megan Stalter Copy Share Image
Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion. But NEVER enter like a lion and leave like a kitten. Always… — Carlson Gracie Copy Share Image
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
People always think I'm this zany character. But I think I just see the funny side of life, I don't see the… — Ainsley Harriott Copy Share Image
I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the… — Richard Jeni Copy Share Image
I'm never going to understand what Middle America wants, because I'm on a show that Middle America doesn't necessarily like but I… — Kaitlin Olson Copy Share Image
“We needed a refrigerator for our new place and I've never bought a refrigerator my whole life. I went into the appliance… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in… — The Principal From Billy Madison Copy Share Image
You can't be mad at people for being funny and putting on cool pants. You can get pants, too, if you want! — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of having me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being seventy has its advantages. I was outspoken before, but now what have I got to keep quiet about? — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Calling an engineer an applied scientist is like calling an artistic painter an applied pigment chemist — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I enjoyed working at RKO more than at MGM. At RKO the parts were better! — Laraine Day Copy Share Image
Now, the magic of British parks at night, as Bill Oddie presents.. Gaywatch. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I just recently became aware of how tenuous my life is. I don't have time for fear. — Mike Phillips Copy Share Image
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing worse than a loser is someone who won't admit he played badly. — Kevin Spacey Copy Share Image
