Sexually frustrated men turn into bitchy divas like that snickers commercial. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes. — Richard M. Nixon Copy Share Image
I found it quite funny when my teacher at secondary school saw me bowl and wanted me to throw the javelin. So… — Fidel Edwards Copy Share Image
“This was Jonan's boat. She had helped Nan Seller dose his entire crew against the annual diarrhea outbreak known as the "winter… — Sarah Zettel Copy Share Image
I have a funny relationship to the British working class movement... I'm in it, but not culturally of it... I was aware… — Stuart Hall Copy Share Image
Men are like Bluetooth they are only connected to you when you are near, but will scan other new devices when you… — Mercy Pheona Copy Share Image
The whole point about laughter is it's like mercury: you can't catch it, you can't catch what motivates it - that's why… — Mike Nichols Copy Share Image
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Butterfly?" Will said. "Why Butterfly?" "I believe it's a term of great respect," Selethen said gravely. He was very obviously not laughing.… — John Flanagan Copy Share Image
I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Power is the ability to define phenomena, and make it act in a desired manner. — Huey Newton Copy Share Image
Photography was the only thing that mattered in my life and I gave it everything. — Anton Corbijn Copy Share Image
I think there are a lot of shows out there that value being hip or cool over being funny and heartfelt. — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
Men are like accessories. Its nice to have them but not really needed... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I'd like to make you laugh for about ten minutes though I'm gonna be on for an hour. — Richard Pryor Copy Share Image
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. — Sophia Loren Copy Share Image
“Revel in grossness. Leave food in your teeth. Proudly display feminine hygiene products.” — Jennifer Ziegler Copy Share Image
I wrote a pilot for myself. It's about a Latina actress trying to make it in Hollywood. It's pretty funny. — Melonie Diaz Copy Share Image
It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's… — Grimes Copy Share Image
There are three sorts of lawyers - able, unable and lamentable. — Robert Smith Surtees Copy Share Image
The rottenness of the matter which is the foundation of everything! — Marcus Aurelius Copy Share Image
Words are like arrows, Arianne. Once loosed, you cannot call them back. - Areo Hotah — George R. R. Martin Copy Share Image
It is courage based on confidence, not daring, and it is confidence based on experience. — Jonas Salk Copy Share Image
