I have always enjoyed being a part of his life. I've always loved him, and he's always loved me. — June Carter Cash Copy Share Image
You take the senses away, and there is no consciousness. Consciousness comes from experience. — R. Buckminster Fuller Copy Share Image
A wise man among the ignorant is like a beautiful girl in the company of blind men. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
All I want in life is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Results for "I looked as respectable as the bum they were booking. I fancied I smelled better, but perhaps not. I've noticed… — Sue Grafton Copy Share Image
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
All I want for Fathers Day is a woman who'll help me reenact the activities that led to my becoming a father… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think there's something so funny about Ram Dass. I was lucky enough to sit across from him at dinner once, and… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When men lose against me, they always have a headache ... or things of that kind. I have never beaten a completely… — Susan Polgar Copy Share Image
“I mean if there was any justice in the world you wouldn't even have to go to school during your period. You'd… — Andrea Portes Copy Share Image
I will make a joke about any of my family members, about me, about my wife, if I really thought that I'm… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
If you look up the definition of stand-up comedy, it's funny on purpose. A little bit of pressure there. It's basically acting.… — Michael Waltrip Copy Share Image
If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment. — Dave Allen Copy Share Image
That moment when you hear your own voice recorded and think...omg I sound horrible.. — Abhishek Ghosh Copy Share Image
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Getting back with an ex is pretty much like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dance as if no one's watching, love as if it's never going to hurt. — Stuart Appleby Copy Share Image
Just because you can't do everything, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you can. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
You know whats better than watching a beautiful woman get dressed...laughing at what she is wearing — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The biggest misconception is probably that I don't have my head in the right place. — Lindsay Lohan Copy Share Image
Marriage is an institution in which a Man loses his Bachelors degree, and the Woman gets her Masters. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, What are you doing this weekend? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Increased knowledge clearly implies increased responsibility. — Nicolaas Bloembergen Copy Share Image
As funny as some photos can be, think twice about allowing yourself to be tagged in questionable photos. — Lewis Howes Copy Share Image
“Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.” — Scott Lynch Copy Share Image
WORST MOMENT EVER: Watching a good show and then BAM. A sad, abusive animal commercial comes on. :c — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every one knows that insufficient rest and gorging are not good for anyone, either physically or mentally. — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When asked what would he do if he found $1 million, Yogi responded, If the guy was poor, I'd give it back. — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
When we bump into each other at the Gay Pride Parade, remember to look surprised. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.” — David Wong Copy Share Image
