That awkward moment when your gum randomly falls out your mouth when you're talking to someone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Would you ever cheat in relationship? I can't get one girl, how the hell do you expect me to get two — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Facebook, Pretty Soon, They'll All Abandon You, Too. Sincerely, MySpace — Toni Watson Copy Share Image
Whenever you are alone, remind yourself that God has sent everyone else away so that there is only you and Him. — Rumi Copy Share Image
Math jokes arent funny, nothing about math is funny, math is a sin(e). — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
Don't evaluate yourself, don't evaluate others. Just keep going after it. — Mike Bickle Copy Share Image
Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and… — Mitch Ratcliffe Copy Share Image
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
For students today, only 10 percent of children from working-class families graduate from college by the age of 24 as compared to… — Patrick J. Kennedy Copy Share Image
“How did you get in here?' (...) 'How I got here isn't important, because I could do it twenty times again, each… — Rachel Aaron Copy Share Image
It has long been recognized by public men of all kinds. . . that statistics come under the head of lying, and… — Hilaire Belloc Copy Share Image
Today is a leap year and women are supposed to pluck up some courage and propose to their man! Guys will be… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“What did you think of him?" Cade asked. "Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy’s more full of shit than a duck… — Christopher Farnsworth Copy Share Image
A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not only call you one, but act like one with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
The things most worth wanting are not available everywhere all the time. — Alice Waters Copy Share Image
My friend named his car. And I don't want to be judgemental, but... what a dork. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
May your boss not attend the synagogue you pretend to be going to during the Jewish holidays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May you be less of an international embarrassment to America this summer than the cast of Jersey Shore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Has anyone else ever noticed the Krusty Krab is located in bikini bottom?, that can't be a coincidence, can it? — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
Usability rules the web. Simply stated, if the customer can't find a product, then he or she will not buy it. — Jakob Nielsen Copy Share Image
Why do they call it a 'Wonder Bra?' Maybe its because when you take it off you wonder where your boobs went. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some say that life’s a b-ch, but I’ma keep flirting and f-cking that b-ch for her money and Louis V purchases. — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
When you come to a place where you have to left or right,' says Sister Ruth, 'go straight ahead. — Kathleen Norris Copy Share Image
The thing about life is that no one comes out alive. So live it up while you still have it. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
When I get sad, I Stop being sad and be awesome instead. ...True Story.:D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The pain lets you know you're ok. It's the numbness you should be concerned about. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Learning is the knowledge of that which none but the learned know. — William Hazlitt Copy Share Image
