When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person. — Pete Holmes Authentic Copy Share Image
When my wife left me, in real life, T. J. Miller was like, 'I'm shooting a movie in Pittsburgh. I'll fly you… — Pete Holmes Fly Copy Share Image
Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I… — Pete Holmes I am Copy Share Image
When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes… — Pete Holmes Change Copy Share Image
Why do we say 'Have a great weekend?' That's just a spell. You're just going - I have no control over your… — Pete Holmes Change Copy Share Image
The biggest idea of a good time for me is making the Batman videos that we did. That is my ideal day.… — Pete Holmes Cartoons Copy Share Image
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules. — Pete Holmes Comedy Copy Share Image
It's hard to control the things that are going to inspire you. — Pete Holmes Control Copy Share Image
I mostly do faces and sounds. That's what I do. Comedy doesn't have to be art. — Pete Holmes Art Copy Share Image
Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your… — Pete Holmes Become Copy Share Image
When I got divorced, the first people I called were Nick Kroll and John Mulaney and T. J. Miller - all the… — Pete Holmes First Copy Share Image
Sometimes I liken the comedian's lifestyle a little bit to a firefighter's in the sense that there's a lot of waiting and… — Pete Holmes Firefighter Copy Share Image
I knew I wanted a 'Girls'-type show about my life, but what's the big thing that happened to me? Oh, I got… — Pete Holmes Big Copy Share Image
My mom wanted me to be a youth pastor, and when I became a comedian, she said it was close enough. — Pete Holmes Enough Copy Share Image
When you think about a festival from a comedian's perspective, it has to do with who else does it - that's number… — Pete Holmes Crazy Copy Share Image
I think a lot of pain in people's lives comes from not being open and honest about what they really think, what… — Pete Holmes Being Copy Share Image
When you do stand-up, it's so autonomous: I can say anything. — Pete Holmes Anything Copy Share Image
The skill set of pastor and comedian are incredibly similar. You want to affect people. You're good at reading rooms. You're persuasive,… — Pete Holmes Good Copy Share Image
As soon as I heard the term 'comedy nerd,' I'd hoped there was a lot of them. — Pete Holmes Comedy Copy Share Image
I felt like I was in a unique position, or I am in a unique position, to show the evangelical world in… — Pete Holmes I am Copy Share Image
Audiences sometimes emit these weird frequencies that make you think you've weirded them out. — Pete Holmes Make Copy Share Image
