I think what people respond to is someone being who they actually are. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
There's something about a podcast that feels like two people in a closet with the lights off. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When I started, I was very deliberate about making friends with people like John Mulaney who were really funny and wanted to… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
The skill set of pastor and comedian are incredibly similar. You want to affect people. You're good at reading rooms. You're persuasive,… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a pastor. I was going to be a youth pastor. I mean, I play guitar; I like to… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When I got divorced, the first people I called were Nick Kroll and John Mulaney and T. J. Miller - all the… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I'm trying to, with my stand-up and with the podcast, give people these little stupid things to give them happiness. I know… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
People like Bill Burr and Jim Gaffigan and Zach Galifianakis and Sarah Silverman - they were all amazing and helpful to me. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I think a lot of pain in people's lives comes from not being open and honest about what they really think, what… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I'm trying to manufacture a sleepover feel; like a tree house or a clubhouse. I want people to be silly and play… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Be persistent and just keep going to open mics no matter what, even if just to watch and not perform. You'll find… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Yeah, I had a talk show canceled. Okay, let's go back to the list of people who had talk shows canceled. Johnny… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
One of my obsessions in life is that we have the tools to manufacture moments and real things, but it's overwhelming and… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian. Comedians are supposed to be jaded, cynical, angry people. But I'm not: I'm a silly, silly fun boy. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I thought divorce was for people that threw plates at each other, and I'd have to be an alcoholic or having affairs.… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When somebody comes across as authentic and genuine and sweet, people just want to spend time with that person. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When my wife left me, in real life, T. J. Miller was like, 'I'm shooting a movie in Pittsburgh. I'll fly you out and… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Religion often is very embarrassing, and I totally get it. So I am sort of sometimes burdened with the fact that I love talking… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
When it comes to being called a pronoun, sometimes I like to call other people 'me.' I go, like, 'Oh, these mes voted for… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Why do we say 'Have a great weekend?' That's just a spell. You're just going - I have no control over your weekend. But… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
The biggest idea of a good time for me is making the Batman videos that we did. That is my ideal day. That is… — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Science would like to tell us that people laugh because of the benign violation theory, but comedy doesn't have hard rules. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
I mostly do faces and sounds. That's what I do. Comedy doesn't have to be art. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
Comedians really are like a species. That's not to be exclusive. Anyone can kind of become one. You have to pay your dues, though. — Pete Holmes Copy Share Image
