They named it Twitter because Licking each other dirty asses was too long. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Instagram: Because even ugly & fat girls wanna feel like models sometimes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She wanted to sign up as an organ donor, but all she had was a guitar. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are politicians or celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, A strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If I followed you back after 15 minutes of following me, I was just pretending to be busy & I failed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
SEX DRIVE, a physical craving which appears at puberty and ends at marriage — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
With all these shit stains, shut your ass hole doesn't offend me at all — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girls are really dressing up like sluts these days. This one young girl just got up from her seat & I totally… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The rarest sight in the world is a woman who is happy with photographs of herself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I want to sit on my right hand so it feels like someone else is stopping me from masturbating. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls say no Bad girls say when? Naughty girls don't say anything, they just moan and scream a lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I got a teenage daughter and a menopausal wife. One's getting breasts, one's getting whiskers. My life is over. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't get shock if I unfollow you. It was completely your fault (for thinking I am different). — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is best assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out in the same direction; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I didn't give a fuck until I drank Red Bull. Now I don't give a flying fuck. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My sweet wife getting so upset watching Sunny Leone. Guess I should stop masturbating and see what's wrong with her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What the fuck is going up there - My stomach wondering while I'm chewing gum — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I read the newspaper every day just to see if there's anyone I know in the obituaries or the underwear ads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Husbands are like guns ... keep one around for long enough and you're gonna want to shoot it! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies don't be afraid to get naughty. Rock his world and leave him begging for more! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons Naughty girls unbutton… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
