Be the girl everyone wants to be with Not the girl that everyone has been with... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I make inappropriate choices when I drink. I also make them when I'm not drinking — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Blowjobs are the only jobs that haven't been affected by this shitty economy. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can steal my tweets if you like, but I lick every single one before I tweet them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Number one rule: Never get attached to something that wasn't yours in the first place. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My personal trainer told me to listen to my body while working out so I left the gym & went to get… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Looking for soulmate. Description: Smart, funny, good-looking & loves to battle with lightsaber swords while making sound effects. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My hands never pain when typing message for you.. But my heart always pain when there is no reply from you. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Love is a feeling that is really hard to explain, but its the greatest feeling you could ever have. But love could… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Two women were talking. When I was young, I used to laugh when my mother crossed her legs when she had to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A couple had twins - a boy & a girl. In their family, it was the tradition of the father's brother to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
