Funny Quotes by Oscar Wilde

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

— Oscar Wilde

Oh, he occasionally takes an alcoholiday.

— Oscar Wilde

I know. In fact, I am never wrong.

— Oscar Wilde

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

— Oscar Wilde

It is what we fear that happens to us.

— Oscar Wilde

Immanuel isn't a pun; he Kant be!

— Oscar Wilde

Genius is born-not paid

— Oscar Wilde

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.

— Oscar Wilde

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

— Oscar Wilde

It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

— Oscar Wilde

I don't want to earn a living. I want to live.

— Oscar Wilde

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

— Oscar Wilde

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

— Oscar Wilde

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

— Oscar Wilde

It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing

— Oscar Wilde

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

— Oscar Wilde

A community is infinitely more brutalised by the habitual employment of punishment than it is by the occasional occurence of crime.

— Oscar Wilde

One should never make one's debut in a scandal. One should reserve that to give interest to one's old age.

— Oscar Wilde

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

— Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

— Oscar Wilde

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of…

— Oscar Wilde

He is really not so ugly after all, provided, of course, that one shuts one's eyes, and does not look at him.

— Oscar Wilde

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

— Oscar Wilde

Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.

— Oscar Wilde

It is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things. Names are everything. I never…

— Oscar Wilde

When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do…

— Oscar Wilde

Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that,…

— Oscar Wilde

I can resist everything except temptation.

— Oscar Wilde

Always keep love in your heart.

— Oscar Wilde

Nature constantly imitates art.

— Oscar Wilde

There is nothing that art cannot express.

— Oscar Wilde

Give me the luxuries and I can dispense with the necessities.

— Oscar Wilde

Foxhunting... the unspeakable pursuing the inedible.

— Oscar Wilde

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure!

— Oscar Wilde

Young men want to be faithful, and are not. Old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

— Oscar Wilde

I never play cricket. It requires one to assume such indecent postures.

— Oscar Wilde

Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence.

— Oscar Wilde

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

— Oscar Wilde

Love will fly if held too lightly Love will die if held too tightly . . .

— Oscar Wilde

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

— Oscar Wilde