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Humor Quotes by Oscar Wilde

59 Humor quotes by Oscar Wilde

All Humor quotes Oscar Wilde’s page

Wilde jokes that imagination cushions us when reality feels harsh. He mocks social pretensions, saying women often don’t notice good looks and that being talked about is better than being ignored. He also pokes fun at hard work, calling it a refuge for those with nothing else to do.

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Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

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I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

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“My dear fellow, I am prepared to prove anything.”

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“I am dying beyond my means”

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It is a very dangerous thing to know one’s friends.

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I have nothing to declare except my genius.

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I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

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“The ages live in history through their anachronisms.”

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“When I see a spade I call it a spade. I'm glad to say I have never seen a spade!”

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“To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”

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“All charming people are spoiled. It is the secret of their attraction.”

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If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

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Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman - or the want of it in the…

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“I never intend to grow old. The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life.”

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“Did you hear what I was playing, Lane? I didn't think it polite to listen, sir.”

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[on his deathbed in a Paris hotel room] Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

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“I must confess that most modern mysticism seems to me to be simply a method of imparting useless knowledge in a form…

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“If it was my business, I wouldn't talk about it. It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like…

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It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don't mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind.…

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“LADY BRACKNELL I had some crumpets with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now. ALGERNON I…

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As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments…

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The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows…

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Women, as some witty Frenchman once put it, inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces and always prevent us from carrying…

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“It is only about things that do not interest one, that one can give a really unbiassed opinion; and this is no…

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“Cecil Graham: What is a cynic? Lord Darlington: A man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing. Cecil…

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“The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live, that is what I mean - so Bunbury died. He seems to have…

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Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make…

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“The post on her left was occupied by Mr. Erskine of Treadley, an old gentleman of considerable charm and culture, who had…

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“I was on the point of explaining to Gerald that the world has always laughed at its own tragedies, that being the…

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“LADY BRACKNELL Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of…

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Seriousness is the last refuge of the shallow.

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Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman

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He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

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We are specially designed to appeal to the sense of humour.

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“Women have no appreciation of good looks—at least, good women have not.”

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The tragedy of growing old is not that one is old but that one is young.

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“If a woman cannot make her mistakes charming, she is only a female.”

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“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

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It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously

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Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.

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More by Oscar Wilde

How else but through a broken heart may Lord Christ enter in?

The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world its own shame.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others

Who, being loved, is poor?

“Basil my dear boy puts everything that is charming in him into his work. The consequence is that he has nothing left for life…

Anybody can be good in the country

I don't at all like knowing what people say of me behind my back. It makes me far too conceited.

“Alles Populäre ist falsch.”

“If these elements of beauty are real, the whole thing simply appeals to our sense of dramatic effect. Suddenly we find that we are…

To love one's self is the beginning of a life-long romance

“Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.”

Men always want to be a womans first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a mans last…

Why is it that at a bachelor's establishment the servants invariably drink the champagne.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Enough is as bad as a meal. More than enough is as good as a feast.

Beauty is the only thing that time cannot harm. Philosophies fall away like sand, creeds follow one another, but what is beautiful is a…