That awkward moment when you see someone coming your way after you've just farted. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Sometimes you have to talk quieter , To see who's really listening .. ¥ — Green Monk Copy Share Image
To those who know and love me I wish you well. All the rest may go to hell — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I bought 13 alarm clocks and set them to go off at 5AM and put them all over my girlfriend's room. She… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A Winning Horse doesn't know whats wining He only runs in pain given by his rider So whenever you're in pain think… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Man was sent on earth to struggle... AND Woman was sent on earth to make sure it happens... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
April Fools' is exhausting. I can't wait for tomorrow when I can return to blindly accepting everything I hear. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The hot dog was invented in 1903 by Jonathan Hotdog when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I just want to be successful enough to make others do the work that I'm being paid to do. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you have sex with their wives, and then you… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Two women were talking. When I was young, I used to laugh when my mother crossed her legs when she had to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Love is a feeling that is really hard to explain, but its the greatest feeling you could ever have. But love could… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A couple had twins - a boy & a girl. In their family, it was the tradition of the father's brother to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
