Funny Quotes by Nikhil Saluja

Oxymoron: Funny Female

— Nikhil Saluja

Salad? Thats what my food eats.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oxymoron: She's Smart.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oxymoron: Silent Woman.

— Nikhil Saluja

A backward poet writes inverse.

— Nikhil Saluja

Save me, Jeebus!

— Nikhil Saluja

I would lick a pizza's pussy.

— Nikhil Saluja

Moving on is really hard !

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A female who would rather mend your ways than your socks;

— Nikhil Saluja

A fart is a wish your butt make.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex with your secretary - Employers liability

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman say:I LIKE YOU, BUT. Woman means:I don't like you.

— Nikhil Saluja

The worst thing you can tell me is to relax.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm sending you some kisses, I know you like them.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are you... when you are at peace with who you are not.

— Nikhil Saluja

I mention someone, get no replyback, and I'm left feeling like an idiot.

— Nikhil Saluja

A wife is just an attachment men screw on the bed to get the housework done.

— Nikhil Saluja

I hate when there's no more toilet paper and I have to bother the person in the next stall to help wipe…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, one in which the husband knows when to remember and a wife knows what to forget;

— Nikhil Saluja

It's normal to feel the way you do right now but trust me, it will get better. Good luck, be strong.

— Nikhil Saluja

Politicians are like bananas when they first come in they're green, then they turn yellow, and finally they're rotten!

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

— Nikhil Saluja

Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the…

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you love someone so much you're waiting for them, you're noble. If you're making someone who loves you wait for you,…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, A situation -- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes, but looking outward together in the…

— Nikhil Saluja

I have always considered myself an expert on women's liberation . In the last fifteen years ,I have given two their freedom myself.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The most slippery word in the human language -- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most…

— Nikhil Saluja

Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you send me abusive mentions, I will star it & then retweet your tweets to show you how my twitter life…

— Nikhil Saluja

A couple is married for 47 years and the woman dies. At the funeral, the pallbearers swing the coffin, which hits a…

— Nikhil Saluja

Alex Rodriguez never gets clutch hits in October, yet his fans insist on comparing him to Babe Ruth. So A-Rod tries to…

— Nikhil Saluja

They say gay people have gaydar, which lets them figure out who else is gay. Waiters in expensive restaurants have something similar,…

— Nikhil Saluja

How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain What's His Name? We live…

— Nikhil Saluja

I was eating an orange the other day and a friend said, Did you know nothing rhymes with 'orange?' So, I threw…

— Nikhil Saluja

After miraculously surviving two heart surgeries, pneumonia and a mild stroke, at 82 my grandfather was no longer able to care for…

— Nikhil Saluja

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

— Nikhil Saluja

Girls try. Women succeed.

— Nikhil Saluja