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Funny Quotes by Hussein Nishah

161 Funny quotes by Hussein Nishah

All Funny quotes Hussein Nishah’s page

Why do single women take advice from other single women? The jokes use odd analogies like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles directions. Playful pranks about ATMs and self‑deprecating claims about work and love keep the tone cheeky while poking fun at everyday absurdities.

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When youre good, youre good, when youre awesome youre me

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Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies

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Im not getting older, Im just becoming a classic

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The whole world is great! That is¦until you wake up

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Don't disturb me, I am disturbed enough already

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Money doesn't bring happiness, but shopping does

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Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating.

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Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play

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I watched a black and white TV for so long, so when I got a color TV I picked the red one

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Laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh for no reason than you need medicine

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I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.

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Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.

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Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X

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How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels when he…

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My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are

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If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs.

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Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and…

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Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until…

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I like to call in sick to work at places where Ive never held a job. Then when the manager tells me…

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You tell me you love me, but Im not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how…

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My friend's son has learned about a disease that only affects dinosaurs, apparently. He saw it on television and it's called A…

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Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your…

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A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you…

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The only drink I like ice in is water, because you cant water down water. Im like that with love, too. Dont…

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Sometimes the only one who can appreciate you, is you

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For every girl without a guy, there's a guy without a girl

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2013: You mad, bro? 1800: Art thou angered, brethren?

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My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film

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A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished

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I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.

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You're not fat, you're just.. easier to see

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Monday, go home. Nobody invited you.

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Infatuation, love, memory, recollection, remembrance

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Dear math, Im not therapist so solve your own problems

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Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes

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Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on

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I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday

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I dont always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent

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You know what's odd? Every other number.

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I woke at wrong side of facebook, today is going to be such a drag

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More by Hussein Nishah

Females always say, you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, but steady be trying to turn a dog into a faithful man…

If in the middle of an argument I suddenly fall silent it does not mean you have won... No it means you should probably…

Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Im not actually this tall. I am sitting on my wallet

People might say your not normal but if you ask me normal isnt that much fun. being yourself and being abnormal is Awesome, dont…

My ex texted me saying, You can delete my number, I don't give a damn no more. I texted back saying, Who's this?

Dear you have always been doing well; if you will keep on going you will meet your destination. Good luck to you

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!

Has learned that sometimes it is just easier to agree with someone, than to argue a stupid point they think they have.

Just be yourself. You are wonderful.

If you can't see yourself marrying the person your with, why are you with them?

You tell me you love me, but Im not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it…

To become successful you don't need beautiful face,

Most people don't act stupid - it's the real thing.

As a joke, I would love to stand in line at ATM machines, and when people put in their PIN, I yell Got it!…