Funny Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 26

WIFE, A lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away;

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm the only man who has a marriage license made out To Whom It My Concern .

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get…

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've been banging my head against this wall for hours trying to figure out where all this blood is coming from!

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.

— Nikhil Saluja

Assumptions are those things we make when we are too lazy to check out the facts.

— Nikhil Saluja

Relationship Status: Apologizing everytime for saying something hilarious.

— Nikhil Saluja

With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love!

— Nikhil Saluja

Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

Idiots don't know they are idiots, I know I am an idiot therefore I am not an idiot ;)

— Nikhil Saluja

History may repeat itself, But Herstory won't ever shut the fuck up about it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't Take It Seriously * When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes.

— Nikhil Saluja

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I shall defend to the death your right to shut up.

— Nikhil Saluja

Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall … And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch ……

— Nikhil Saluja

You're like family to me in that I find myself drinking even more than usual when you're around.

— Nikhil Saluja

Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex.

— Nikhil Saluja

Inspirational tweet of the day: If you ever feel like you're about to do something you're going to regret later, do it.

— Nikhil Saluja

Puddle: A small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, The process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred;

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;

— Nikhil Saluja

I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

— Nikhil Saluja

You can tell a lot about a person by holding a gun at their head and asking them questions.

— Nikhil Saluja

It has been scientifically proven that the less you know, the more you think you know.

— Nikhil Saluja

The quickest way to get someones attention is to no longer want it.

— Nikhil Saluja

My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.

— Nikhil Saluja

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies: Men wouldn't cheat if you did a little less nagging, and a little more gagging.

— Nikhil Saluja

I rather be hated for who I am, then to be loved for who I am not.

— Nikhil Saluja

If I was a serial killer I'd use my knife to make strangers kiss in front of me.

— Nikhil Saluja

My wife is so bad at sex, I close my eyes and pretend she's my hand.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I just wish I could disappear for a while to a place where nothing can go wrong in life.

— Nikhil Saluja

There are exceptions is new replyback when someone disagree with your tweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are free... when you are in control of yours lf and do not wish to control others.

— Nikhil Saluja

Things shall fall into its perfect place, in the perfect time, at a perfect setting that you will always be able to…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're not following me yet, hopefully reading this tweet will convince you.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or…

— Nikhil Saluja

If you're ever feeling down, just remember that I'll always be there to feel you up.

— Nikhil Saluja

Crisis: When dinner is ready, I CRISIS, and my sister comes running.

— Nikhil Saluja