Hindi SMS section
Bought an SMS package for someone special — someone who has never once sent back a single message.
Dil se roye magar honton se muskura baithe,
Yun he hum kisi se dosti nibha baithe,
Woh hamain 1 sms na kar paye,
Jin k liye hum sms packages kerwa beithay
An accounting student insults someone entirely in financial terminology: bounced cheque, bad debt, dishonoured bill, net loss.
Accounts k student ki gaali:-
Salay bounced cheque,
Dharti pe liability,
Paidaishi bad debt,
Dishonoured bill,
Insolvent admi,
Khandan ka net loss,
tu paida kion howa ?
Man insists marriage won't change him — he looked forward to getting married before it, and still looks forward to it after.
Mein woh nai k shaadi hoi or badal gia,
Mera wohi mizaj
wohi zoq hoga,
Shade se pehle bhi
mujhe shadi ka shoq ho ga,
Shadi k bad bhi mujhe
shadi ka shoq ho ga:p
An absurdly long chain of locations and people built one word at a time — the final destination is a single line about wasting others' time.
Islamabad
airport
pr
PIA
ki
Flight no.9
K
plane
Ki
Seat no.52
Pr
Baithay
Passanger
K
sath
Mai
Khari
Air hostes
K
Boyfrnd
K
Ghar
Ke
Bed room
K
Attach bath
K
Right
Side
Wali
Window
K
Sath
Wali
Gali
K
Pehlay
Mor
Par
Mojud
School
Ki
Class
4th
K
Teacher
Table
K
Samne
Wale
Row
Ke
4th
Bench
Ke
Sath
Wale
Bench
Pr
Baithe
Hue
Student
K
Bag
Mai
Pari
Hui
Urdu
Ki
Book
K
Page number 57
Ki
Line number 10
Mai
Likha
Tha
K
dosron ka time waste karna buri baat hai..
An elephant flirts with an ant; the ant storms off to tell the elephant's wife: control your husband — we have men at home too.
1 Hathi Romantic mood mei
1 chunti ko cherta hai.
chunti ghusay mei
Hathni k pas ja k kehti he:
Apny awara shohar ko smjha lo
warna mard hamary ghar me b hain
A stoner donates his eyes; his post-surgery message to the recipient: these eyes only open after two drags.
1 charsi eyes donate kerne gaya,
After operation,
Dr. Asks:
Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Charsi:jisko bhi ankhen lagao
use bata dena
ye 2 kash laganay
k baad he khulti hain:D
Fake breaking news: police hunting for an attractive person — relax, you're neither human nor good-looking, so you're safe.
NEWS ALERT!
Police 1 insan ko talash ker rahi hai
jo bohut beautiful hai,
tum mut ghabrana Q k
na to tum insan ho na beautiful,
problem ye hai k mein kahan chupon
Pathan at a marriage meeting asks how many brothers the girl has; she says she had three but now has four (odd reply, no explanation).
Pathan ghar walon k sath apna rishta dekhne gaya
Ghar walon ne kaha donon ko akela chor do
Pathan:behan g ap k kitne bhai hain?
Girl:pehlay 3 thy ab 4 ho gaye hain.!
Same lie-detecting robot joke as above — robot slaps son, father, and then mother in sequence for each lie told.
1 parents apnay betay k liye aisa
robot laye jo jhoot bolnay per thapar marta hay.
Son:Abu aj mei bemar hon school nahi jaonga
Chatakh!
Baap:tumne jhot bola, me jub tumhare
jitna tha kabhi jhoot nahin bolta tha
Chatakh!
Mom:Kia howa?
Baap:Yeh chintu jhoot bolta hai
MoM:Zahir hy apka hi beta hay..
Chatakh…!!!:-)
Husband excitedly tells wife about the girl in his dream; wife calmly says she knew — because his wife's husband was in her dream.
Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi.
Wah! Kia Larki thee!
Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?
Husband: Tum ko kese pata?
Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!
A lie-detecting robot slaps the son for faking illness, slaps the father for claiming he never lied, then slaps the mother too.
1 parents apnay betay k liye aisa
robot laye jo jhoot bolnay per thapar marta hay.
Son:Abu aj mei bemar hon school nahi jaonga
Chatakh!
Baap:tumne jhot bola, me jub tumhare
jitna tha kabhi jhoot nahin bolta tha
Chatakh!
Mom:Kia howa?
Baap:Yeh chintu jhoot bolta hai
MoM:Zahir hy apka hi beta hay..
Chatakh...!!!:-)
Poetic lament about growing weak from separation — so weak a mosquito managed to carry off the entire bed.
Itne kamzor ho gaye teri judai se,
Wah wah wah?
arz kia he
Itne kamzor ho gaye teri judai se,
k 1 din machar hi utha le gaya charpai se