Alcoholics Quote by Stephen Colbert

“Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.”

Stephen Colbert

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Alcoholics Beer Cannabis Dry Fitness Furious Marijuana Science Scientist

More by Stephen Colbert

Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.

Stephen Colbert

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Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a…

Stephen Colbert

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We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and…

Stephen Colbert

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I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.

Stephen Colbert

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Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe.

Stephen Colbert

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It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

Stephen Colbert

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Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.

Stephen Colbert

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Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.

Stephen Colbert

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I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.…

Stephen Colbert

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I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd…

Stephen Colbert

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“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.”

Stephen Colbert

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Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for…

Stephen Colbert

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Explore all 514 Stephen Colbert quotes

More Alcoholics quotes

Sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before…

Anonymous

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“I'm not an alcoholic, I am freedom fighter against the teetotal taliban.”

Al Murray

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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their…

Amy Sedaris

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I started drinking when I was like 15, and by the time I was 19 everybody knew I was an alcoholic. So I would…

Felipe Esparza

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There are plenty of alcoholics who can be magnificent when drunk: it does not make them any less alcoholic.

Ingrid Bengis

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The idea that the creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time. ... Substance abusing…

Stephen King