There is no food closer to my heart than cheese. In fact, according to my doctor, it has nearly filled my aorta. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came up with the word. I don't know… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The beauty of new media is that no evidence is necessary. The brave blog-troopers have stormed the cockpit of news, and wrestled… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
If you repeat it, it's true. If you repeat it, it's true. And through repetition, something becomes true. If you repeat it… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I don't trust books. They're all fact, no heart. And that's exactly what's pulling our country apart today. Because face it, folks,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I gut check my show. I say, I say, "Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?" And Gut says, "Yes it… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want to be funny. I'm a comedian, not… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.” — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
