Men Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business,…

— Stephen Colbert

There once was a man name Barack, Whose re-election came as a shock. He raised the taxes I pay, And then turned…

— Stephen Colbert

Everything in nature has found a niche, a perfect harmony of balance. Man need to find his niche, his perfect balance, where…

— Stephen Colbert

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.

— Stephen Colbert

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.

— Stephen Colbert

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

— Stephen Colbert

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of…

— Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As…

— Stephen Colbert

That’s why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can’t channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting…

— Stephen Colbert

Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried.…

— Stephen Colbert

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120…

— Stephen Colbert

I stand by this man (President George W. Bush). I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for…

— Stephen Colbert

I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't…

— Stephen Colbert

Evil exists because of the disobedience of Satan. God gave Satan, and the angels, and man free will. Satan used his free…

— Stephen Colbert

The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with…

— Stephen Colbert

TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican…

— Stephen Colbert

We all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement…

— Stephen Colbert

So, if I'm no cheerleader of sports, why write a chapter about it? Sports do have some positive impact on society. They…

— Stephen Colbert

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the…

— Stephen Colbert

My grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants. He did it…

— Stephen Colbert