Trump Quotes by Stephen Colbert

I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote

— Stephen Colbert

I'm getting angry at liberals.

— Stephen Colbert

I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.

— Stephen Colbert

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

— Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.

— Stephen Colbert

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

— Stephen Colbert

“I like the fact of John McCain's head being severed. Like that it will fit so much more nicely up George Bush's…

— Stephen Colbert

Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.

— Stephen Colbert

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

— Stephen Colbert

Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!

— Stephen Colbert

There once was a man name Barack, Whose re-election came as a shock. He raised the taxes I pay, And then turned…

— Stephen Colbert

Usually when Donald Trump wants to keep someone out of military service, he just fakes a doctor's note saying he has a…

— Stephen Colbert

Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is…

— Stephen Colbert

Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate…

— Stephen Colbert

After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of…

— Stephen Colbert

I'm not going to name any names, but let's just say, I want to do jokes on Donald Trump so badly, and…

— Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As…

— Stephen Colbert

The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998…

— Stephen Colbert

Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried.…

— Stephen Colbert

It's time for me to give out an award to newly elected Majority Leader John Boehner. Mr. Boehner was elected just a…

— Stephen Colbert

I stand by this man (President George W. Bush). I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for…

— Stephen Colbert

Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President…

— Stephen Colbert

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the…

— Stephen Colbert

President Bush has embarked on an eight-day tour of the continent. He hopes this one goes better than the other ones he's…

— Stephen Colbert

The interesting thing about fake news and fake media is that it's a heresy against reality. Again, as a Catholic, I was…

— Stephen Colbert

TV's Tony Snow becomes the White House press secretary. How will he make the difficult transition from Fox News reporter to Republican…

— Stephen Colbert

“The pistachio: it's just like our politics. When the two sides are divided, that's when the nuts come out.”

— Stephen Colbert

You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?

— Stephen Colbert

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday.. no matter what happened Tuesday.

— Stephen Colbert

Sixty eight percent of Republicans don't believe in evolution. On the other hand, only five percent of monkeys believe in Republicans.

— Stephen Colbert

I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy…

— Stephen Colbert

Trump will not respond to reasoned argument. He will not be held accountable for the things he said. All you can do…

— Stephen Colbert

I don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say…

— Stephen Colbert