Funny Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.9 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Girlfriend Humor Kitchen My girlfriend
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm pretty handy in the kitchen. But my wife's the real genius. — Chris Diamantopoulos Copy Share Image
I was always told to be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor and a wh--e in the bedroom. — Melissa Gorga Copy Share Image
“Dude, your girlfriend is so far past high maintenance even the janitor quit.” — Samantha Young Copy Share Image
Your girlfriend ain't supposed to know about them hoes, them hoes suppose to know about your girlfriend.! — 2 Chainz Copy Share Image
I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Your girlfriend isn't supposed to know about them hoes; them hoes are supposed to know about your girlfriend. — Jason Santana Copy Share Image
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I… — Red Skelton Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
