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Portrait of Scott Adams

Scott Adams

Writer Canada

418 quotes in 1535 categories

Adams’ commentary mixes office humor with sharp observations on human behavior. This collection pulls together every line he’s shared, offering a compact guide to his satirical lens.

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Scott Adams is a writer from Canada, best known for Dilbert.

Quick Facts About Scott Adams

Nationality: Canada
Profession: Writer
Notable works: Dilbert

About Scott Adams

Scott Raymond Adams was an American cartoonist, author, and commentator. He was best known as the creator of the Dilbert comic strip and nonfiction works of business, self-improvement, commentary, and satire.

Biography source: Wikipedia

Quotes by Scott Adams

The best things in life are silly.

Best things

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Everybody is somebody's else's weirdo

Dilbert

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The only risk of failure is promotion.

Failure

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I'm primarily just an investor.

Investor

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The longer you verk here, diverse it gets.

Diverse

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If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

Doing

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Technology: No Place for Wimps!

Place

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“Losers have goals. Winners have systems.”

Football

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The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Guy

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The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.

Blamed

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Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

Business

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A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.

Ashtray

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Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.

Advice

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There's a fine line between participation and mockery.

Altruism

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As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.

Annoying

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Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Dilbert

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Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.

Children

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The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might…

Anniversary

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“Humans are hardwired to reciprocate favors. If you want someone’s cooperation in the future, do something for that person today.”

Reciprocate

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As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky…

Administrators

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Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors.

Corporations

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“The things that you think about the most will irrationally rise in importance in your mind.”

Psychology

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“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.”

Failure

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“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.”

Crap

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Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni…

Cheese

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“PERSUASION TIP 9 Display confidence (either real or faked) to improve your persuasiveness. You have to believe yourself, or at least appear…

Confidence

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“People who do affirmations will have the sensation that they are causing the environment to conform to their will. This is an…

Affirmations

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“Unhappiness that is caused by too much success is a high-class problem. That’s the sort of unhappiness people work all of their…

Happiness

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Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved…

Ancestor

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Before 'Dilbert,' I tried to become a computer programmer. In the early days of computing, I bought this big, heavy, portable computer…

Computers

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I believe everybody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens…

Amendment

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You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy…

Argue

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“Conversation is more than the sum of the words. It is also a way of signaling the importance of another person by…

Communication

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“It’s tempting to imagine happiness as a state of mind caused by whatever is happening in your life. By that way of…

Cold world

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One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to…

Blogs

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“A goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don't sometime in the future. A system is something you do…

Every day

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“The common worldview, shared by most humans, is that there is one objective reality, and we humans can understand that reality through…

Objective reality

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“A God who knew the answer to that question would indeed know everything and have everything. For that reason he would be…

Cease to exist

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“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but…

Artist

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Highly intelligent and well-informed people disagree on every political issue. Therefore, intelligence and knowledge are useless for making decisions, because if any…

Advantage

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Scott Adams by topic

People (47) Time (40) Ifs (36) Life (26) Science (25) Thinking (21) Success (20) Dilbert (20) Business (19) Way (16) Failure (16) Humor (15) Writing (13) Should (13) Happiness (13) Believe (13) Work (12) Long (12) Ideas (12) Humans (11) Computers (11) Computer (11) Reality (10) Psychology (10) Death (10)