In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If you give an ant infinite time, it can move a mountain all by itself — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Humans are hardwired to reciprocate favors. If you want someone’s cooperation in the future, do something for that person today.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“For example, if every time you eat popcorn, one hour later you fart so hard that it inflates your socks, you can… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Clinical psychologists have proven that ordinary people will alter their memories of the past to make them fit their perceptions. It is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“the past exists only in your mind,” he said. “Likewise, the future exists only in your mind because it has not happened.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
People are idiots. Including me. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with the low SAT scores. The only difference is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Conversation is more than the sum of the words. It is also a way of signaling the importance of another person by… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you can imagine the future being brighter, it lifts your energy and gooses the chemistry in your body that produces a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Dilbert: Evolution must be true because it is a logical conclusion of the scientific method. Dogbert: But science is based on the… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“A goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don't sometime in the future. A system is something you do… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“The rest of the universe is like the coin. The events of the past appear to cause the present, but every time… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“The most important form of selfishness involves spending time on your fitness, eating right, pursuing your career, and still spending quality time… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Avoid career traps such as pursuing jobs that require you to sell your limited supply of time while preparing you for nothing… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“(about finding evidence of the past) And when you get that confirmation, it would instantly become the past itself. So in effect,… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Your brain can only process a tiny portion of your environment, It risks being overwhelmed by the volume of information that bombards… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Dealing with experts is always tricky. Are they honest? Are they competent? How often are they right? My observation and best guess… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The children are our future. And that is why, ultimately, we're screwed unless we do something about it. If you haven't noticed,… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you are proven to be right a hundred times in a row, no amount of evidence will convince you that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
