As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
God designs people's emotions so you fall in love with people who, in return, wouldn't even use your hollowed-out skull for a… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there's no limit to what you can achieve. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I can't bring myself to believe in a God with a personality like my own. I base that on the paucity of… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alike. Your dreams of creating a dry-cleaning… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly; technology is already way more interesting than… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the 'incompetence line'… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money.… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
One Dilbert Blog reader noted that current research shows that happiness causes success more than success causes happiness. That makes sense to… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The core belief that drives terrorism is the notion of a "holy place," along with the idea that some people belong there… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Dilbert: How can they tell it's the golf gene? Dogbert:… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
People are idiots. Including me. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with the low SAT scores. The only difference is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I don't get embarrassed by the same things that other people do. I would say that probably the biggest thing that holds… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Everyone says there's a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
