Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““If my nipples lactated mustard, I’d wear a bra made out of two hamburger buns.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.1 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“Lettuce mustard our strength, celery-brate and have bun while I scream, relish the day!” — Tom Althouse Copy Share Image
“...the mustard on the roof of my mouth gave me the feeling that someone was removing my nasal hair with a blowtorch.” — Marcel Theroux Copy Share Image
“I’ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you’re at it, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A girl would have learned how to breastfeed by seeing it done a thousand and one times, just as she learned how to stack… — Gabrielle Palmer Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Someone has to make a mustard container that doesn't squirt out yellow water before it gets to the actual mustard. I get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“I'd let him put his hand under my shirt, over the bra, where he kneaded with delighted disbelief at my booby. It had been… — Joshilyn Jackson Copy Share Image
“I have a double-breasted suit. It’s got four nipples stitched on the front (two are faux nipples).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My girl has got a bun in her oven, and I guess you know who did the damn cooking.” — Stephen King Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
