Right now Quote by Jarod Kintz

“Right now, I want more than just coffee.” “Please, you just want to sleep for 36 hours straight in comfy bed.” “That, and maybe…

— rea lidde

“I don’t need a coffee cup. That’s what hands were invented for. That’s also why I don’t need sex.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I'll…

— Charlotte Eriksson

“...I’m restoring my foreskin because I was born with one, and damn it, I’m going to die with one.”

— Kristen O'Hara

“I throw on some sweatpants and tell everyone I want a 'real' coffee which sounds more believable than telling them I'm going for a…

— Juno Dawson

“But I didn’t go to sleep. The truth is, I’ve got a monkey on my back, a habit worse than marijuana though not as…

— Robert A. Heinlein

“When I saw a murder taking place, I almost didn’t have time to make coffee before stopping it. But thank God I did, because…

— Jarod Kintz

“I drink coffee like a civilized man—alone in a cave, wearing a loincloth, and grunting in frustration because my club is too thick to…

— Jarod Kintz

“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow”

— Josh Stern

“I need either a small coffee or a large nap.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Hospitality is about welcoming you with open arms, and an outstretched erection. Please, have a seat on my penis. Can I get you something…

— Jarod Kintz

“I need money. I suppose I could sell my penis for profit. Or better yet, rent it out so it gets returned to me…

— Jarod Kintz