Quote by Jarod Kintz

“Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows,…

— Jarod Kintz

“Two mustaches walk into a bar, and the bartender said, “Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other but said…

— Jarod Kintz

“I have half a mustache. It was a gift from my father, who bought one with a Buy One Mustache, Get One Half Off…

— Jarod Kintz

“People call me “Mustache,” because I have an eyebrow on my upper lip. When I close my lips it’s like a wink and a…

— Jarod Kintz

“If you sound like shit, you sound like smell—which is crazy because smell looks like blindness, with a mustache.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”

— Jarod Kintz

“That being said, I will throw on the occasional false mustache.”

— It Books

“I grew a mustache, and I grew it in my garden. My mustache is organic, and will taste tasty on your mouth.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My new mustache is barely big enough to cover my pubic region.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I loved his goatee even more than his mustache. It was so soft and white. I wanted to rub my face in it. I…

— Jerry Spinelli

“I’m like Twain, Nietzsche, and Dali in that I have three mustaches. (I have two of them disguised as eyebrows). Women love men like…

— Jarod Kintz